February 1-7

The New Year is beginning to feel less new. February will be over in a blink of an eye. Spring will begin to show itself in March. But for now I continue to figure out how to be a successful artist, business person, and human being.

Bukue One and Del the Funky Homosapien preform in my living room

Friday night is a night that I will always remember. For some of you that know me know that I live in a ware house with 5 other people we have had a total of three parties in the warehouse and Friday night’s party is going to be a hard one to top. Bukue One got the crowd hyped up and Del brought the party to its Zenith. It was a free show, free PBR, free Red Bull and Svedka Vodka, all free. The vibes were great all night and anyone that was lucky enough to attend will surely never forget it. Thanks to all the sponsor for making it happen, PBR, Red Bull, Svedka, Skull Candy, Arnette, Snowboard Magazine, Pow, Space Craft, Newspeak Tattoo, and of course So-Gnar, and Ink Monstr.

January 25-31

We made it through the month. I wish I could say it was stress free. It wasn’t. I worry-worry about money, about women (or lack thereof) I worry about my work, about being productive. Somedays I make a lot of frames some days I make only a couple and on a very few days I make no frames at all. I am starting to realize that it may be okay to not push the button once in a while, because when I don’t it makes me even hungrier to make the next photographic moment when space, time, and light all converge. Photographs are my memories, they are history, they are how I communicate. The moment the shutter clicks history has been documented, I have communicated what I have witnessed whether it be a broken down car, or a skateboarder, or a pedestrian. The images all represent humankind at our moment in time and I suppose that is part of my obsession with making these images. Because for me with out them there are no memories, there is no history, there is no communication, and no one will know I ever existed.

January18-January24

Winter madness, the Denver Doldrums, hibernation. January is depressing. It’s cold, it’s dark, and it’s long. This week was slow. I made a few frames then I got sick on Friday and pretty much laid in bed for about 36hours straight. I am a wuss when I get sick. I still ask my self what the point of all this is, making frame, after frame, after frame. For what? Hopefully one good frame that I might like? I just feel like the subject matter of my work spans so many different genres that I have no focus. I am more or less finding compositions not really telling stories. Trying to be an Artist is not physically demanding. I don’t come home from work with calloused hands. It is however emotionally draining. When I am not creating I feel worthless, and lazy. When I do create I feel like most of my work is not up to par. Do I keep creating the same photo over and over again? This inner conflict is draining. Sometimes I embrace the darkness and other times it scares me into paralysis.

January11-January17

Showing a little less…shot a little less this last week. Is it okay not to bring my camera with me? Doesn’t feel like it. When it’s not with me I wish I had it, when its with me sometimes I wish it was gone so I could just rest. Rest my eyes, rest my mind. I didn’t even make a single frame on the 15th. I must admit I am feeling guilty. Why am I doing this? What’s the point? I’m addicted I guess. Addicted to light, addicted to moments, addicted to seeing. I try to use this machine as a way to communicate and interact with the world and all its strangeness, humor, and beauty. I need to try harder.

January 4-10

Another week. I find myself in California. My friend Bret came into town to visit and I decided to catch a ride with him. I can’t help it I have this adventure bug inside of me. I have been loving meeting new people, seeing new places, and having new experiences.

December 28-January 3

The last week of 2009. Bring on 2010. I approach this year with greater confidence. Greater confidence in my photographs, greater confidence in my business, greater confidence in Preston Utley. I opened a lot of doors last year, this is the year I walk through them and experience everything the next year of opportunities have to offer. I hope your 2010 is as amazing as mine.

December 21-27

I bought a new camera on the 21st and I have been trying to bring it with me wherever I go. I hope to keep this up, well, forever. Some are photos of friends some are of strangers, some are just photos of things. It’s a visual diary type of thing. Here are a few snaps from the week.

First Place!!!

I won 1st place in the scene setter category during 3rd Quarter of the Wedding Photojournalist Association contest. It is judged by photojournalist not wedding photographers. The Wedding Photojournalist Association (WPJA) has members that enter this contest from all over the world and I am honored to be able to make the cut.

Click here to see the rest of the winners.

Junkyard Dog